Recently, the Delhi High court in a revolutionary move legalized homosexuality by abolishing section 377 of the IPC. Sometime last year, the Maharashtra cabinet sent a proposal for the legalization of live-in relationships. 2008 also saw the Tamil Nadu government granting recognition to the Transgender community in India. This is a time of progress; the winds of change are blowing. We’re on our way to utopia, an era of peace, tolerance and acceptance. India really does seem to be shining, doesn’t it?

It isn’t a crime being fat, you know. Yet, there have been days when all I have wanted to do was bury myself deep within the earth and never re-surface. The worst was when my parents decided to start looking for a groom for me. Invariably all dinner table conversations would revolve around the numerous grooms’ mothers who had rejected me because I was fat. There was also one such mother who wanted to talk to me.

There’s something quite beautiful about the image of a blushing bride. Most western women idealize the day that they will be dressed from head to toe in white, radiating as they float down the aisle. But for Indian women, this color holds a different significance. For them, white is not the color of beginning a [...]

Even after as many as 90 years after the 1929 Child Marriage Restraint Act in India, this practice runs unabated. This is the scenario not just in India but in various other parts of the world as well. There are many who wish that they had the power to curb this practice but feel helpless looking at the enormity of the issue. I’m one of them. On the other hand I’m unable to accept the statement that change doesn’t happen overnight. If it hasn’t happened in 90 years, how long will it take for this practice to end? Are we to wait for the change to happen and read it in papers or are we to be the change?

A common question I encounter in each of these situations when I advocate walking away is “What is the alternative?” What indeed is the alternative? Walking away from years of investment into a relationship meant to be for life? Or is it walking away from the security of a roof over the head? Walking away from everything you have known and are familiar with? Where do you go from there?

“Are working women neglecting their duties at home?”

The question was raised by CNN-IBN (India) and the poll results took itself to the nation’s newspapers too. While the discussion intended to acknowledge and praise the working woman, it betrayed our parochial assumptions about women in India. Considering the prominence of the news channel, the issue reflects badly on feminist discourse in India, as still very immature; I’ve listed my reasons below.

But it is also true that women still give and take large dowries at weddings, ask children to put up with sexual harassment from male members of the family, force daughters into marriages of convenience, entreat women to put up with domestic violence, do not pardon female infertility or the birth of a female child, draw the acceptable standards of beauty and point an accusing finger at the victim of sexual harassment.

I do not know whether to laugh or hit the wall in frustration when I read the specific circumstances where women think it’s ok to be beaten up. The most commonly cited offense is ‘being disrespectful to in-laws,’ followed by ‘neglect of house or children.’ The least stated reason is refusal to have sex. I guess the last is a silver lining of sorts?

These websites, they have clever marketing executives now. The prettiest of pictures, cutesy stories of how Shalini met Hari on the site and found eternal love thereafter, thanks to very specific preferences you can set, the height, weight, complexion (first thing you would see), the caste, sub-caste and the dozen others I never seem to understand.

With a shy smile she walked toward her to-be-groom, thinking that he might be her soul mate.
She served the tea cups with a smile mixed with shyness
And then bent to place the tray on the table.
Her mother regrets that moment to date.